Being patriotic is all well and good, but not everyone is Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Paper 1 (TV and Culture) is finished and will get turned it at 2:30pm today
Paper 2 (Folklore) is halfway done, but got extension to Friday
Paper 3 (Genealogy of Culture) has 1 page done, and I'm already slamming my forehead into my desk

I'm being uber-productive (that's what procrastinating until the deadline does for you!), but it's terrible sitting in my office. The heat is still turned on, and since there is no ventilation or window to outside, it feels like a freaking swamp in here.

I've paused from writing about the Alamo to chug a Dr. Pepper and eat a Pop-Tart (only 75 cents!), and I found what might be the best argument for gastric surgery ever.

I'll readily admit that I was a huge pro wrestling fan growing up - I had neon sweatbands and got to see, first-hand, Earthquake crush Damien (bonus points for getting that reference, loyal readers). In high school, we enjoyed watching the NWO mass battles on WCW, where at the drop of a hat, two wrestlers would spark the equivalent of a gang rumble.

But this site brought back some happy memories, especially in the bio of Tugboat, whose action figure was one of the best (I usually paired him up with Jimmy 'Superfly' Snooka to take out Joe Turner's Rick Rude/Big Boss Man tag team).

Most shocking, however, is the "Where Are They Know?" for Paul Bearer, the former manager of the Undertaker. Back in the day, Paul was horribly overweight at wore makeup to look pasty and corpulent. According to his feature, he had emergency gastric surgery, and now looks decades younger and literally half his former size.

Plus, he now owns a mortuary/funeral home in Georgia - kharma, man, kharma...