That'll move the chains!

The good news from this weekend is that the St. Xavier Bombers will be playing in Canton next Saturday (and, thanks to Time Warner buying the rights, I can watch it from the warmth and comfort of home).

I spent a very, very cold 3 1/2 hours Saturday night watching a terrible game of high school football. Considering it was the top team in the country vs. the highest-scoring team in the state, we kind of figured the final score would be more than 10-7. Admittedly, both defenses played fantastic games, and there were a few bright moments, but most of the game was just dreadful. The worst part of the game (and what determined the win on the final play) was the horrendous offensive play-calling. I'm a stereotypical armchair quarterback - shouting about coaching and playing while hoovering down BBQ meatballs - but there were several plays that just left all of us scratching our heads in amazement. Sports coaching is one of those careers where everyone watching claims to know how to do your job better that you can do it yourself, but come on!

Sometime during the 3rd quarter, when we got bored watching both teams go 3-and-out without gaining any positive yards, I had some very deep, philosophical discussions with Matt Ackerman.

Matt: If you were going to be killed by one animal, what would you
pick?

Me: Can I fight back, like using a samurai sword against a bear?

Matt: Sure, but you're going to die by the end of it. I'd go with Portugese Man-Of-War, so I'd die quickly and just like I lived, floating.

Me: Hmm. Then I guess I'd want to be dropped from a plane...onto an
elephant.

In other football news, I've been punished for my hubris last week (mocking Adam) with a 2-point performance from Randy Moss. Even worse, it's against goddamn Hunter.